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Why are we striving to merge with a partner
The desire to become “one whole” is characteristic of many couples. Is it possible to call it a healthy relationship? Or such a fusion destroys individuality and close itself? And how to find harmony without dissolving in each other?
To merge in love, dissolve in each other, two halves to turn into a single whole – all that poets singed for centuries, today has become a synonym for a dead end. Does this always destroy individuality and kills desire?
Mergers leads to increased anxiety
In psychoanalysis, the term “merger” indicates two “merged” unconscious when the boundaries of the personalities of partners are blurry.
Two want to become as close and consonant with each other, breathe one air. Hence one step to the desire to absorb each other, turn into a single whole.
The Merger is the term of the psychotherapist of Mürrey Bowen, ”says the family psychotherapist Anna Varga. – It means a very strong emotional dependence of partners on each other and behavior built on this basis. Partners strive for love, support and recognition, and at the same time, rejection and conflicts are afraid of. They are always trying to catch signals from each other and understand how to react to them correctly “.
Merging is necessary for a mutual desire. “If one partner strives for him, and the other does not – they will not even have a
novel,” the psychotherapist believes. – They will not like each other, because the one who does not want to merge will seem to another cold, and the one who wants is obsessive. “.
